Lost Amoung Tattered Pages

Entry found in journal, originally written 2/26/09

My emotions make me weak. I can feel the tingling on my fingertips, their desire to be brushed against his lips. I’ve lost my way and don’t know where I am. I feel almost bewitched by his charm. and he hangs me out on a string and I dangle in limbo loving him blindly. I cannot know his true feelings or desires… only what I am shown and the boy shows me conflicting emotions. One moment he adores me and is almost in tears telling me how important I am to him and the next I am pushed away with disdain. He has to know how this effects me, how it keeps me up at night. I wish I could put it out of my mind but when I close my eyes I see his face, his arms I can feel around me and I am lost in my thoughts. I try to trust the moments when he has shown me his heart but what can a conflicted woman trust. I’m foolish. I can’t even trust myself.

~ by kirbyrice on March 25, 2009.